In Which I Blather On About Greek Yogurt, Kids, and My Complete Health Overhaul

Has anyone tried Greek yogurt? I am absolutely loving it. Greek yogurt has double the protein, less fat and calories, and is creamier than regular yogurt. I take mine plain all the way. Sometimes, I add some berries. Or a handful of walnuts and a drizzle of honey. Or if I really need a shot of sweet I'll add a spoonful of jam. Unfortunately, my favorite brand (Fage) can only be had at health food stores and is twice the price. Yay. I usually make the trek to Whole Foods and fork over my 10+ lousy bucks for my weekly supply though, because the taste and texture is superior. So there you go. You are now one of the People Who Know. About yogurt, anyway.

Anyone else notice how much better their kids are compared to yourself at their age?

I have. Mine surprise me with how much smarter, more responsible, good, and organized they are than when I was when I was just a lass. I was constantly unprepared, losing papers, dumb at math, lazy, and just kind of bouncing around with a confused wide-eyed look on my face. I guess some things never change! I feel so blessed to have kids who are so much better. They make me proud, every day.

And my knitting is calling, so I'll save My Complete Health Overhaul for another post. And now, it doesn't sound so interesting anyway, so maybe I'll just forget it. See, this is why I never post anymore.

My Entrancing Twenty Five...or Six

You know on blogs...how sometimes the blogger will have a "My 100" list? Well, I'm so uninteresting (or so unself-aware) that I could only come up with 25. Here they are.

1. When I hear music I choreograph dances to it in my head.
2. Child stars irritate me.
3. I'm a procrastinator.
4. I'm not a good story teller, however;
5. I'm good at reading out loud.
6. Out of my siblings, "One of these kids is not like the others." And it's me.
7. I'm kind of a restaurant snob.
8. I've never had a cavity.
9. I really really really love hot water.
10. I love breastfeeding...and the boobs that go with it! :0
11. I almost got kidnapped once.
12. The sound of the wind makes me feel hopeless.
13. I'm not funny.
14. I hate confrontation and (almost) always avoid it, except with my husband!
15. I daydream about performing in front of thousands.
16. I'm very old-fashioned, however;
17. I have a definite Rock N Roll side and I think Mick Jagger is totally sexy. (Does that count as two?)
18. I ignore expiration dates on food with reckless abandon.
19. I'm completely offended by commercials for tampons, personal lubricant, douches, and pills for E.D.
20. I've been thrown in jail!
21. I was a terrible student in jr. high and high school, however;
22. I pulled it together and was on the Dean's or President's list every semester in college.
23. Rainy weather makes me happy.
24. I love the smell of baby spit up.
25. I'm good at trivia and dumb at every thing else.

Aren't you just SO glad you read all that?

The Protectors

There is a story in our family that my dad tells of when he was almost drafted into the Vietnam war. My mom was very pregnant with my brother. The draft letter told him to report for a final physical at the bus (or train?) station before leaving for training. He and my mom made it to the station, prepared to say goodbye. He left my mom for a minute and went into a makeshift exam room. The doctor looked him over, and noticed a scar on my dad's shoulder. He asked my dad about it, and my dad said it was from a dislocated shoulder, the result of an old football injury. The doc was quiet for a while, and then he said, "I could probably go ahead and clear you for active duty. You've told me that it doesn't hurt too much. But son, you've flunked your physical. Now get the hell out of here, and don't come back." My dad took my mom's hand and they ran.

I write a lot about motherhood on this blog. Because I am a mother, and mothers are mostly the ones who visit. It's not Father's Day, but I'd like to dedicate this post to fathers anyway. To my own father, whose eyes lit up when one of us came into the room, who told me how gorgeous I was, who laid out Valentine's gifts on our bed (girly things, like pretty white gloves, and bubble bath), who protected me from my own brattiness as a teenager, who came between me and an angry neighbor, when I wrote my name all over her wet cement, who sadly cleaned up the beer cans that were scattered on our lawn by an angry ex-boyfriend, and never told me about it, and who guessed all of our secrets, and kept them. He's the dad by which all other dads should be measured. I hope you all feel the same about yours. Take a minute, now, if you are reading, and appreciate all of the sacrifice of your own father.

To the dad of my kids, my own dear James, I thank him for being my protector. I thank him for standing watchfully in the shadows, trying his best to delay a stressful church calling that was looming, because he knew I wasn't physically strong enough yet. I thank him for being the only friend I could turn to, when my feelings were hurt, and for knowing my secrets, and keeping them. I thank him for stepping between me and an angry, crazy landlady, and absorbing the anger himself. I thank him for protecting me from my own children, when they threaten to drink the last of the water that is in my emotional and literal cup, for hearing the buzzer that goes off in my head when I've had enough for the night, and taking over. Accepting protection doesn't mean that you couldn't protect yourself, if you had to, it just means you don't have to. Take a minute, now, if you are reading, and appreciate the protection of the fathers of your children.

I thank the protector of my soul. The One who came between me and justice. Take a minute now, if you are reading this, and appreciate the love of your God, and your Lord.

For our protectors, whether we think we need them or not, let us be grateful, and rejoice that they were created to do what they do.

Thanks

Thank you so much everybody for your responses, opinions, and advice. Summer, thank you for your thoughts about homeschooling and your support and tips for things to try. Thank you Kassie for your encouragement! Jen, your friendship has been a treasure. Thank you for reminding me to listen to my own inspiration. Julie! I had no idea you were here! Thank you so much for commenting and for reminding me that I can influence my children for good, regardless of what I decide. My goodness, I miss you too. Mandy. Thank you for being an inspiration of faith and endurance. And for expressing your belief in my ability to do what's best. Thank you also for putting me in touch with your friend, Jenn. What a source of wisdom she turned out to be. Emily. I love you. Asking me what the Lord said is not trite or condescending, it was wisdom, and love, and I felt that love! Thank you also, so much, for reminding me that there is no such thing as perfection in education (or anywhere else). I really really needed that. Kristiana, thank you so much for understanding the "I can't take this anymore- feeling." Thank you for sharing your struggles with me too, and reminding me that motherhood is just hard, no matter what. Your life and blog have been and continue to be an inspiration to me. Wendy, thanks for being able to compare the homeschool lifestyle with the public school one and telling me what you've found to be the pro's and con's for you and your kids. Your kids are great! Lindsay. I love you and love that I can always count on you to "get down to brass tacks" and tell me how it really is. I appreciate your honesty, and am grateful for it. I'm grateful for your offers of help. Thanks also for your example of keeping a wonderful, orderly home.
We've decided to put the kids in public school. Friday afternoon, I went into the office (James works from home a lot of the time) and asked James for his final opinion. I already knew in my heart what my decision was, though I didn't want to do it. He told me he had been feeling like they needed to go to school. I went immediately to the local elementary school to register them, but no one was at the office. I decided to wander around and get a feel for things. I ran into the two third grade teachers and started talking to them. I knew right away by the feeling of peace that I felt that my kids' education, and my values would be safe there. I left with a feeling of calm and peace and weightlessness that I haven't felt for a long time. My fellow homeschoolers: know that I tried everything that you said! We took breaks, we changed up the routine, we tried to do more of the fun stuff, just stick to the basics...nothing brought us peace or joy as a family. We've been floating along unhappily for far too long. I already feel a million times lighter. It was such a burden to feel undecided and unresolved. We told the kids, and I could see immediately a change, a relief is the best way to describe it. We picked out backpacks...they're thrilled. We know that this is the right decision for our family. We knew when we started to homeschool, that at the time that was also the right decision. I do think there is a reason that we felt the need to homeschool. It may have something to do with the boundary school where we used to live? We just moved in October, so the kids will be attending a different school from the old boundary public school in our old neighborhood. The reason may not be apparent, but I know there was one. Thanks again everyone for your advice and love!
Kristy

Things We Can Control

I suppose trouble has been a constant companion of the world since Eve gave birth to Cain and Abel. As I've studied ancient and medieval history along with the kids, I've certainly learned that struggle, and strife, wars, diseases, and famines go along with every civilization that ever was. I look around me, and I see that it is certainly the case with our place in time. The state of the continent of Africa in the last 15 years alone could provide enough hardship, trouble, warfare, famine, sickness, and poverty to fill volumes. The state of our own country's economic entity has everyone worried. And thanks to the media, every thing that ever existed that would cause fear is broadcasted in detail, from the number of dust mites (or whatever they are) that feed on your eyelash junk, to the state of the nations water supply, to the deadly gene you are undoubtedly carrying and you don't even know it.

Aren't you glad there are some things we can control? Here are two that I'm grateful for:

Our own homes. Ikea proclaims: "Home is the most important place in the world." I couldn't agree more. Home is the place. You control the music. You control what kind of food is prepared and served. You control the temperature. You control the emotional climate. You say when the t.v. is on and what kind of programming is being watched. You are the decorator. You establish the level of cleanliness. You decide what comes in, and what goes out.


Our tempers and reactions to others. Determining our own answer to someone else's behavior is a blessing. And I'm glad that I have the choice. Anger that is out of control is at best unproductive, and at worst, damaging to ourselves and others. Choosing to become offended, also, is fruitless and can damage relationships. We should, if we can, choose to let people say what they need to say, and if they have some problem with us (or our kids!), well, it's their problem. That they can deal with. And we can peacefully move on with our lives. I'm pretty hard to offend. Really, you have to be trying to hurt my feelings. However, say something that is the opposite of complimentary about my kids, even if it was meant well, and you will risk bringing out the mother-monster. And I'm sure you're all familiar with her. It's something that I've actively had to work towards; letting things roll off my back that involve my children. But it's the same principle as ignoring those who have a problem with me. (It's just so much harder!) (For me.).

As the drama and toil of the world tumbles and heaves and threatens to make us feel debilitated against the tide of fear, we can take comfort in our own power. The power to create a haven and to rule and reign a home for ourselves and those we love, and the power to rise above the trivial (and even the not so trivial) irritations and clashes of human relationships. And I thank God for these gifts.

About the Artwork

William Bougeureau (1825 – 1905) created a lush fantasy realm filled with idealized mythological figures, angels, women and children. His masterful command of human form, delicate colors and enchanted light brought the souls and spirits of his subjects to life with captivating realism. A tireless worker, he created 800 life-size works whose unique style and subjects drew an enthusiastic following of students and imitators. A member of the French Academy, he singlehandedly opened it to women.

Open Heart Surgery

I'm an introvert. I have moods when I'm extroverted, but my default social self is contemplative and quiet. It takes me a good while until I feel close enough to a neighbor to just pop over and hang out without planning all out first. It takes time for me to open up to other people. It's a slow pace, and a long spell until I feel like I fit in. So moving was hard. I've felt sad about leaving the wonderful people that it has taken me so long to get to know. In the course of goodbyes, our neighbor Melanie came over for a chat. She's great. She grew up on a ranch in Wyoming, loves to have my kids over for cookies and conversation, AND, she's married to a man from Egypt. I never knew that until we were saying goodbye! Ibrahim grew up on the Nile River! The Nile River was one of my kids favorite things that we've ever studied and we were living right next door to a man who grew up in the ebb and flow of that mighty river. He remembers it before they built the dam that stopped the yearly flooding. What an opportunity lost! If I hadn't taken so long to open my heart to the people around me, we could have pumped Ibrahim for pictures, stories, and descriptions of the Nile. We could have invited him over to help us build a model of it.
I have this fear that I'm bugging people if I (or my kids) go over to other people's houses without calling first. I'm afraid of interrupting people and their daily business. I never want people to be sitting there thinking "Boy, I wish they would go home so I could finish (fill in the blank)." Also, I'm rarely the inviter, I'm mostly the invitee. I wait for people to call me to do something, instead of putting something together and inviting others. This is not because I don't want to spend time with people, it's because in the back of my mind, this little voice is ALWAYS saying things like; "maybe they don't want to be friends with you...better hang back and let them invite you, that way, you'll know that they want to hang out with you, and they're not just being nice."
But, I've decided to try to open my heart earlier in the game in this neighborhood. To try to seek out friendship, and not just let it tumble into my lap, like a wished for but unearned shooting star.
Friendships are such a gift in life. What are we all here for, if not to support each other through rough patches in our roads, to make each other laugh when we need it, and to rejoice with each other when human victories grace our lives? Life truly is too short to stand back, and hope that someone will notice us and want to be our friend. So, I'm performing my own surgery. It will probably be uncomfortable, but the reward of a richer life is the promise. I must try to BE a better friend, and then, my heart will be open, and I will be blessed.

Halloween Complaints

Complaint #1:

I'm longing for a good old fashioned Halloween. One where children actually walk door to door and go good old fashioned trick or treating(GOFTOT). Not walking from car trunk to car trunk in a very small parking lot. Goodness. Are we so lazy that we can't get out in the neighborhood and meet our neighbors? Is walking around the block really that big of a deal? Is it unsafe somehow to go GOFTOT, even if you are RIGHT THERE with your kids and there is no possibility of them getting snatched? This is just one more reason why we as a nation are raising a generation of coddled pantywaists. Who invented these things anyway? Heaven forbid our darlings get any exercise in the form of trolling the 'hood for treats. And don't EVEN get me started on trick or treating at the mall. That is just wrong in so many ways.

Complaint # 2:

Why, when you go to the Halloween store to buy a costume for yourself, are all the women costumes slutty? Wait, wait, don't tell me. Because a man designed them?

Disclaimer:
We attended a trunk or treat last night and had a blast. Of course, there were games, and lots of hanging out getting to know each other beforehand AND, it didn't replace GOFTOT.

Love and Money

The cool thing about money is that it's all relative. What I mean by that is that there's always someone with more money than you. On the other hand, there's always someone with less. This fact makes it easy to feel either very grateful and blessed, or deprived and denied, depending on how you choose to look at your life. I've been on the poor side of the tracks when it never seemed like there would be enough money for anything, but we were always happy. We never knew how poor we were! Even at the times when I couldn't buy a magazine without upsetting the family budget, there was always someone with less. Always, there was a reason to feel blessed. Like we had enough.

The cool thing about love is that it's not relative. If you have love, you have it. There's no comparing how much love you have in your heart with how much someone else has. You have it, it makes your life rich, and makes you happy, and that's it.

What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?

-Friedrich Nietzsche

A Buffet of My Thoughts

It's like going to Chuck-A-Rama today. You get to pick and choose which one of my random thoughts you like and want to chew on for a while. Enjoy the smorgasbord of confusion:

First off; Okay, we get it!! Football is serious. Practice is every evening from 5:45 to 8pm. Except Sundays, thank goodness! Otherwise: "IT'S GOD OR FOOTBALL, PEOPLE!!" If your son is puking, and he doesn't feel up to tackling, or you run late for a practice because you can't locate your son, expect a phone call from the coach. Toto, we're not in soccer anymore.

Next; Why was Henry VIII such a butt? Seriously? Six wives? Focus on something besides producing a male heir you doofus. Like maybe appreciating your awesome first wife, Catherine of Aragon who was like, the smartest woman alive at the time.

Third; James and I have read these amazing books. They are called For Men Only and For Women Only. They are companion books written by a husband and wife team. I've always thought that I understood men pretty well. But. Holy cow was I wrong. Seriously? My jaw just dropped. Especially while I was reading the chapter called "The Visual Rolodex". James was equally astounded. We kept asking each other "Is this true??" I highly, highly recommend these books. I've always felt that James and I had a fantastic marriage, but these books opened up a whole new world. Give them a shot.

Next; I turned 32 on the 4th. Happy birthday to me.

Next; camping is a lot less fun, now that I'm the mom and not the kid.

Next; If you do not own a window squeegee you need to take care of that, and fast. I bought this little beauty a few months ago, and kids, cleaning windows is a blast now. And so speedy. And you don't even need soap! And there are really no streaks!! And you don't waste paper towels!!! (Inhaling, exhaling). Just go buy one, okay?

Next; my blog is really really dumb.

Next; You know what is making me really sad right now? The fact that my family is hostile to homeschooling. It's dangerous to rant on your family on your public blog, but I'm gonna anyway. Apparently, a couple of my family members ambushed James and staged a full scale intervention. They think that homeschooling is a bad idea. They think he should make me stop. You know what bugs me the worst? It's that they didn't come to me. (Okay, I'm kind of glad they didn't). But seriously, it's like they're scared to ask me anything about it. They don't ask what we're studying, they don't ask how it's going, they don't ask where we get our materials...all of the stuff that people usually ask...and they are just silent. And this is my family! It's like they're afraid to ask, because then, they might have to think it's cool. And if homeschooling is cool, well, that's gonna change the way they view their whole world. They might have to open their minds. (They think that their minds are already open, because they are liberal democrats, but their minds are closed to anything that they don't agree with. Like homeschooling. Just to name a random example.) They might have to admit that they were wrong.

Next; I hope that the above rant doesn't kick me out of my family.

Tornado

I know you all will think I'm nuts, but a tornado just blew down my street not 10 minutes ago. I was minding my business and enjoying the beautiful weather out on the front porch when all of a sudden, seed pods from the neighbor's tree are pelting me in the face and papers from the binder on my lap are being torn out of the rings. I looked around and the world was in chaos. Trash was everywhere. Leaves and blossoms and pollen were falling like rain. I looked over at the end of the street and I actually saw the grass flatten as the tornado made its way to the corner. In about six seconds, everything was still again and I was left wondering if I had imagined the whole thing. My only clue that I wasn't crazy was a plastic shopping bag and an unidentifiable black thing floating very high above my house.
Okay. OKAY! Maybe it was only a whirlwind, but it was a darn strong one!

Tongue Tied

I know it's been a long time since I've posted. I just feel lately that I have nothing to say that would interest anyone beyond my immediate family! I'm just pretty boring that way. Actually, my best blog post ideas come at about 2am, but then, I get so busy during the day that I just forget about them!

Easter: A Celebration of the Greatest Moment in Eternity

So you’re sitting in Sunday School and the teacher asks you, “What’s special about Easter?” Class in unison: “It’s when Jesus was resurrected.” And that’s that. We know that. We believe that. But do we really understand the true weight of that answer? Have we given it much thought beyond that? Often the miracle of Easter is somewhat overlooked or under appreciated. The power and importance of the doctrine of the resurrection is made clear in the Bible Dictionary.

Bible Dictionary – Resurrection

To obtain a resurrection with a celestial, exalted body is the center point of hope in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The resurrection of Jesus is the most glorious of all messages to mankind.

The center point of hope in the gospel. The most glorious of all messages. Those are powerful statements. Note that it is a resurrection with a celestial, exalted body... meaning not only salvation from physical death but salvation from spiritual death also.

Mormon also tells us that the resurrection is the center point of hope in the gospel.

Moroni 7:40 – 41

40 And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning hope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?

41 And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.

The resurrection is such an important doctrine that God put reminders of it in our daily life. Baptism is a symbol of death and resurrection as we are buried in the water and arise new and clean. The seasons remind us of death in the winter and yet every spring, those very trees that had lost their leaves and appeared dead bud into lush, green life. The sun is buried in the horizon every evening leaving us in darkness, yet it rises again each day. And the closest, most intimate reminder we have is when we go to sleep at night. We bury ourselves under our covers. Our bodies appear they are dead. But each morning we rise… renewed and refreshed. Restored. I can think of no other symbolism that God has placed so blatantly and prevalently in our physical world as those reminders we have of the resurrection.

This Easter season may we all ponder a little deeper, and appreciate a little more what really happened on the glorious morning of Easter Sunday.

I leave you with President Hinckley’s final testimony of the resurrection and of Savior of the world. (“We Testify of Jesus Christ” by President Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign Mar. 2008)

"He is the chief cornerstone of the Church that bears His name, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There is no other name given among men whereby we can be saved (see Acts 4:12). He is the Author of our salvation, the Giver of eternal life (see Hebrews 5:9). There is none to equal Him. There never has been. There never will be. Thanks be to God for the gift of His Beloved Son, who gave His life that we might live and who is the chief, immovable cornerstone of our faith and His Church.
We know not all that lies ahead of us. We live in a world of uncertainty. For some, there will be great accomplishment. For others, disappointment. For some, much of rejoicing and gladness, good health, and gracious living. For others, perhaps sickness and a measure of sorrow. We do not know. But one thing we do know. Like the Polar Star in the heavens, regardless of what the future holds, there stands the Redeemer of the world, the Son of God, certain and sure as the anchor of our immortal lives. He is the rock of our salvation, our strength, our comfort, the very focus of our faith. In sunshine and in shadow we look to Him, and He is there to assure and smile upon us.
He is the central focus of our worship. He is the Son of the living God, the Firstborn of the Father, the Only Begotten in the flesh. He is “risen from the dead, … the firstfruits of them that slept” (1 Corinthians 15:20). He is the Lord who shall come again “to reign on the earth over his people” (D&C 76:63; see also Micah 4:7; Revelation 11:15). None so great has ever walked the earth. None other has made a comparable sacrifice or granted a comparable blessing. He is the Savior and the Redeemer of the world. I believe in Him. I declare His divinity without equivocation or compromise. I love Him. I speak the name of Jesus Christ in reverence and wonder. He is our King, our Lord, our Master, the living Christ, who stands on the right hand of His Father. He lives! He lives, resplendent and wonderful, the living Son of the living God."

-- Happy Easter everyone. Love, James.

Gossip

Note: This post is taken from a journal of mine. It was written solely for my benefit. I thought it might help others, too. I just didn't want to sound like I was preaching a sermon, or like I was perfect.

Why is gossiping so harmful?
In a ward setting, it creates tension and destroys the feelings of love, acceptance, trust, and inclusion that should exist within a ward. It hurts people's feelings! It damages reputations of sometimes innocent people. It makes people feel uneasy: "What are they going to say about me when I walk away?"

How to stop yourself from gossiping:
Pray.
Beware of gossip's disguises: "I like Cindy a lot but..." Often it is done with a thin mask of concern: "Is something wrong with Lisa? She lets her kids run all over the neighborhood...I'm worried that she's depressed..." then the conversation takes off about poor Lisa. These women aren't "concerned". If they were, they would lovingly watch out for Lisa's kids, and drop them off at home if they wander too far or get into a dangerous situation.
Find other topics of conversation, read the newspaper, talk about your own life, various gospel topics, politics (!?), recent family vacations, etc.
Realize that when you gossip, you sound rude, critical, unfriendly, and unChristlike. Is this the vibe you really want to radiate to your neighbors and friends?
Along with gossiping, a close cousin, is backstabbing. Backstabbing (or backbiting) is unkind remarks made about another person who is not there. It's just as bad or worse than gossiping.
*BE HUMBLE*: What are your own weaknesses and failings? What excellent qualities does the person you are tempted to gossip about possess? The thing is, we are all different! The way I choose to raise my kids is different from the way my neighbor does. Why must we tear down another person to prove that the way we do things is the "right" way?
Look for the good in others instead of the bad. This can be hard at first if you're not used to it. In the beginning, you will probably have to make a conscious effort to shut out the negative thoughts that enter your head about people. A wonderful way to break this habit is to replace every bad thought with a thought about what makes that person good.

How to stop others from gossiping: We can't control what other people say or do...but we can make it harder for them to gossip (at least when we're around). Some things we can do:
Change the subject. It can be useful to keep a mental list of interesting topics of conversation that can used to gently steer the topic away from people.

Gossip is ugly. It's mean. It's a weakness that is an overwhelmingly female trait. Let's all try to do better. We are better. Let's be sisters.

Time

Yesterday, I wasted a lot of time. I dorked around on my blog, read other people's blogs, checked email, browsed through some catalogs, read a little, you know, that kind of day. At about four o' clock, I decided I better snap out of it and get some things done before James got home. In just an hour and a half, I made a serious dent in the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, made dinner, and cleaned the living room.

After I had done all that, it got me thinking. What could I have accomplished if I hadn't wasted the entire day? Hmmm.

Doing the Best You Can

A few months ago, James and I were talking and he asked me to come up with a way to track our scripture study and prayer over a period of years. He wanted something that would look good on our wall. The photo above is what I came up with. I gave him this calendar for Christmas and he loved it. We started using it at the beginning of January and we've had family prayer and scripture study every day since!
I wish I could say that reading and praying every day has made this huge miraculous difference in our lives. The truth is, I find myself just muddling through, putting one step in front of the other, and doing the best I can. We have a cabin on a river in northern Idaho. I love to swim upstream in the river. I swim like the wind, not even taking time to take a breath. Then, I stop, stand up and look around. I'm in the same exact place that I started.
That's how I feel about life sometimes.
You can run, and drive, and fix, and cook, and teach, and soothe, and improvise, and fold laundry like there's no tomorrow, and sometimes at the end of the day you're left wondering what all the effort is all about and what you've really accomplished.
Doing the best you can sounds so noble, doesn't it? It sounds like you would be zooming through the sky with fireworks shooting from your feet, astonishing the world with your abilities if you did the best you could. The cold hard truth is that a lot of the time, doing your best isn't much. Often, doing your best isn't very graceful. Or inspiring. At times it isn't elegant or polished. Usually, doing your best just means that you didn't do your worst. There are days when you're glad the world couldn't look through your window and see what your best was that day, because it definitely wouldn't astonish anyone.
However, I've come to appreciate the "just muddling through". I believe in the power of putting one step in front of the other. I've been reading about David in the Old Testament lately. I can't get the tragedy of his story from my mind. "There is a lesson there", I keep thinking. I've decided that the lesson, at least for me, is to be found doing the things you said you would be doing. What was David doing out of bed looking at his neighbors in the middle of the night? Why was Bathsheba bathing on the roof in the middle of the night? Why did David ask his servants who she was? The lesson is to be found doing the right things, at the right time, in the right place. These choices seem so small, but eventually they led to adultery and ultimately to murder. What does all this have to do with doing your best? If you're doing your best, even if it's a little tiny best, you can still be found on the path. You will still be making progress, even if it's an inch at a time.
So while my best doesn't impress, it doesn't awe, it doesn't sing and shout, I'm still on the path, putting one foot in front of the other, and I can be found right where I said I would be, doing (even in a small way) what I said I would be doing.

Questions

Why does a new baby put the entire family into emotional free fall?
Why aren't babies born with stomachs that WORK?
Why can't we fit into our regular jeans the day after the baby is born?
In the Anne of Green Gables series of books, when Anne marries and has kids of her own, there is a woman who lives with them and does the cooking, cleaning, and occasional watching of the kids. Where did these women go? Why do only the ultra rich have "help" nowadays?
How can babies sense that they're not being held?
When will I feel normal again?
Why would we do it all over again?
Why does it have to be so physically traumatic to give birth?
Why am I ALWAYS low on iron?
Why can't kids just do what you ask?
Why do they have to drag out every toy and leave it where it drops?
How do I juggle it all?
Why do I want to eat nothing but chocolate?
Why does life have to be hard?

A Really Wonderful Day

Keller was baptized today and it was such a happy event! I felt the Spirit several times during the day and was so touched by the love of our family and friends who were there to encourage Keller in his decision to be baptized. Not that he needed any encouragement. He has been so excited for this day to come. He kept saying to James and I (afterward) "I love being baptized! I'm just so excited!" James told him that the joyful excited feeling he felt was the Holy Ghost telling him that he'd made a good choice.
After the lunch at our house, James and I gave him his scriptures. He was thrilled! He had to take them to the restaurant that we went to for dinner. I don't think they've left his hands all afternoon/evening. He just now came into the room and showed me a scripture verse that he'd found in the Bible that he loved and I guess I'll end this post with it:

"Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

Just a fantastic day, full of the love of God and the joy of what life is really about.

The Return of Victoria

I still remember the first time I discovered Victoria magazine. I went to the orthodontists office with my friend Jaycee when we were about 15. While she was getting her teeth worked on, I flipped through magazines in the waiting room. I picked up one with a beautiful photograph on it. I opened it and was astounded. There was an entire magazine devoted to the Victorian era?! A magazine for freaks like me who desperately wanted to travel back in time and wear those beautiful dresses, and live in a mansion that looked like a gingerbread house! A magazine filled with hair-do's from the past, food from the past, clothes, home decor and books, ALL FROM THE PAST!!!! I read the magazine faithfully for years until one month it inexplicably disappeared. Years went by with no Victoria.
Fast forward to last month. I stumbled across someone's blog and she happened to mention that Victoria mag was back! James surprised me with a full year subscription for Christmas and it came yesterday in the mail. He let me see it, because, he figured, it would be dumb to read the Christmas issue after Christmas was over. So, the above picture is what I did last night. I consumed an entire box of Godiva chocolates and read Victoria cover to cover. I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Hijacking - Part 2

It's me, James again. I had one more thought that came to me a few days before the previous one and thought I'd share that too. The other day, as I was pondering while driving in the car somewhat of a parable or parallel came to my mind. The thought occurred to me that reading and praying everyday is like regularly contributing to your savings account. So often it is said, “Pay yourself first” in order to encourage people to contribute to their 401K plans and set aside cash for a rainy day. I have no problem saving money. It is something I want to do. It is something I have made a habit of doing. I should also contribute to my spiritual savings account. Those contributions, for me, need to be made daily thru scripture study and prayer. I know that if I will do this that I will be blessed to find greater blessings from the Lord. He will bless me in the fight against the adversary and will help me be a strong leader to my precious family. There are other parallels that can be drawn from this such as compounding interest being compared to the grace of God and the atonement. Or that when the stock market is low it is usually a good time to invest because of the inevitable rebound in the market. This might be compared to the especial need to read and pray when times are tough and often the Lord will bless you with greater rewards/returns. The main thing that really stands out to me at the moment though is the need to contribute daily to my spiritual savings so that when I retire I might be blessed to have a mansion in heaven.

This Blog Has Been Hijacked!!!

Hi I'm James, Kristy's husband. I'm hijacking Kristy's blog to post a thought that had an impact on me recently and I can't get it out of my head. Since I don't have a blog of my own, and if I did, I'm sure no one would read it, I thought I'd post on my lovely wife's blog instead. So here goes...
A couple weeks ago, I had been helping the kids clean for a couple hours. I had told them several times throughout the day to put things away when they were done playing with them. Kristy and I have been preaching this for as long as they’ve been alive but it seemed to be a theme throughout the day yesterday. So at the end of the day Ella went outside for all of 5 minutes. Shortly thereafter I got in the car to go pick up some dinner and of course Ella had left out her bike, scooter, and a push toy. I discovered this because as I backed out of the driveway I could hear something dragging under the car. It infuriated me to the point that I had to just drive away because I knew I would blow a gasket on Ella if I got out and came into the house to yet again reiterate the day’s theme and tell her to clean up after herself. After a few minutes the steam blew off and I instantly stared to laugh when the thought came to my mind that this is probably how God feels about me. He tells me over, and over, and over, and over again to read and pray EVERY day. I am probably prompted at least once a week to "pick up" (get it?) the pace and yet I don’t do it. How grateful I am for the Lord’s patience with me, for His infinite mercy. I hope I remember these lessons and am more patient and gentle in my admonitions to my children in the future, and also that I might not try the Lord’s patience any further!