Monday, November 05, 2007

Women and their guilt!

Moroni 10:8 "And again, I exhort you, my sisters, that ye deny not the gifts of God, for they are many;and they come from the same God. And there are different ways that these gifts are administered; but it is the same God who worketh all in all; and they are given by the manifestations of the Spirit of God unto women, to profit them."



I think it's time to put to rest the myth of the woman who "has it all". No woman has it all or does it all. No woman. I think one of the dangers of reading fashion or celebrity magazines, watching tv shows, or even reading other people's blogs is this tendency women have of looking at an image or reading a short message and thinking, "Wow, that woman really has it all together!" A woman's next thought will surely be "I really need to get my act together." What we don't realize when we read magazines or blogs is that they are a snapshot. One moment. A few minutes in another woman's brain, or one look at the way another woman cleans, cooks, raises her children, or decorates her house. What we don't see is the real life that goes on behind and beyond that image. We don't see the dirty dishes in the sink, the baby crying in mom's arms and the toddler smelling like she needs a diaper change while the older two are bickering over a toy.
Now don't get me wrong. I love blogging and I love to read other blogs. I read home decorating and sometimes even fashion magazines. I like to see what other women are doing, and I like to steal their ideas for cleaning schedules, homeschool ideas, and meal plans, and outfits! But we women need to remember: It's only one small moment in her day, her life. She has faults! We all do. She has talents you wish you had. We all do. It's so easy to get on someone else's website and melt into a puddle of inadequacy. After all, there is Superwoman, dispensing wisdom and tips and so clearly more talented and hard working than you. But that's the problem. None of us live in cyberspace and not one of us is Superwoman. She never existed, and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can go about our lives, taking information and ideas when they are helpful, and having a healthy respect for the gifts of others.
If my children were perfect and I had no challenges at home or in my life, I would have nothing to blog about. I try to choose to write my blog when I'm upbeat and when I feel like I have something to offer others. I've always felt that there is enough written about how difficult motherhood and family life is. I like to look at the flip side and celebrate how wonderful it is too.
Homemaking is not about showing off or "having it all together". There are so many different gifts and talents from woman to woman. Let's thank God for the gifts He has given us (if you don't know what they are, pray for Heavenly Father to reveal them to you), cultivate the ones we find within us, respect and praise those who have other gifts, and not berate ourselves for not having the same ones. It will never benefit us to slink into despondency over a sister who has an eye for photography, just make sure you have her name and number when it's time for a family portrait! Some women cook gourmet meals, some take beautiful pictures of their families, some have such an artists eye for scrapbooking and crafts, others are wonderfully organized and their homes are a haven, still others design or sew beautiful clothes for their girls. You have talents! Don't ever doubt it.
If I've ever come across as perfection please forgive me and remember that electrons on a screen cannot compare with a personal heart-to-heart. If you start to feel like you're not measuring up to a cyberspace or glossy yard stick, feel free to come back, read this again, and refresh your memory. Now, if I can just practice what I'm preaching!
With love,
Kristy

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Words to live by. It is so easy to get in the comparing game isn't it? Especially as women, we are so hard on ourselves. I am so thankful for having a place to share and learn from others to make me a better woman, and grateful for good friends and sisters (you) who offer great insights and advice!

Lindsay said...

AMEN SISTA! I love it, I take this very personally considering our conversation we had on Sunday night and I am so grateful for your words. Sometimes you need to have someone show you things in a different light to put things back into perspective and you have done that for me. No more wallowing in my supposed talentless life. I REALLY love this post. Can I say I feel you were inspired? I also love everything your blog stands for, it's fabulous and uplifting. Thank you Kristy, I love you!

Lindsay said...

and I love the scripture and picture!

Emily said...

Hi, Kristy. My name is Emily and I found your blog off the Fauset Photography blog when you entered the free session contest. I am sitting here crying trying to figure out what to do with my little boy. He is in first grade, and has been sent home (again) for not listening and bothering the other students. He actually attends a Charter School, which I helped start as a founding member and I now sit on the Board. I fully beleive in this school, and I think my son's teacher is one of the most creative, innovative minds that I've met. One of the reasons I was so drawn to this school was because they "loop" their classes, which means that they have the same teacher for first, second, and third grade. After that, the same teacher for fourth and fifth, etc. But, very sadly, this obviously isn't working for my son. I felt so strongly that this school was an answer to my prayers, but it just isn't working right now.

I've been sitting here weighing my options (while crying - did I mention that!). I've been looking into local private schools for the past hour, just astounded at the price and the fact that the closest one to our house is about a half hour away. I've called some traditional public schools that have come highly recommended, and they are not accepting students that live out of their boundaries until next year. Then, I remembered reading something in your comment on Jen's photo blog about homeschooling.

Is there any way that I could talk to you about how to get started, or were I can start investigating. Do you have a list of websites/books that you highly recommend (maybe you've found some to be better than others). I actually researched all the curriculum for the charter school, and we are teaching Singapore Math. So, I am already on board and sold on this idea. I would really like to discuss it with someone. If you could email me at gremily2@aol.com I would greatly appreciate it. My blog is currently private, but I would invite you if you have an email so you can learn more about me and my family.

I actually know your friend, Lindsay's family. Her sister-in-law (I think) is in our ward. And I went to high school with her husband's family. So, I promise I'm not crazy, just discouraged and searching for answers. Thanks!

Emily said...

PS. I love what I read on your blog about your passion for learning and sharing it with your children. This really draws me to homeschooling as well. Just ignore all the typos in my last message! :)

It's Linday's sister-in-law, Tera, that I know.

Kristy said...

Emily, I'll pull together some books and websites for a starting point and email them to you. Just take a deep breath and know that everything with you and your little boy will be okay regardless of what you decide!
Kristy

Jen-ben said...

I love this entry!! So MUCH!! If I had your email I'd invite you to my personal blog...email me if you'd like and I'll put you on my "list" :) Thanks for your words!!
jenfauset@gmail.com