Showing posts with label Thanking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thanking. Show all posts

Monday, February 09, 2009

The Protectors

There is a story in our family that my dad tells of when he was almost drafted into the Vietnam war. My mom was very pregnant with my brother. The draft letter told him to report for a final physical at the bus (or train?) station before leaving for training. He and my mom made it to the station, prepared to say goodbye. He left my mom for a minute and went into a makeshift exam room. The doctor looked him over, and noticed a scar on my dad's shoulder. He asked my dad about it, and my dad said it was from a dislocated shoulder, the result of an old football injury. The doc was quiet for a while, and then he said, "I could probably go ahead and clear you for active duty. You've told me that it doesn't hurt too much. But son, you've flunked your physical. Now get the hell out of here, and don't come back." My dad took my mom's hand and they ran.

I write a lot about motherhood on this blog. Because I am a mother, and mothers are mostly the ones who visit. It's not Father's Day, but I'd like to dedicate this post to fathers anyway. To my own father, whose eyes lit up when one of us came into the room, who told me how gorgeous I was, who laid out Valentine's gifts on our bed (girly things, like pretty white gloves, and bubble bath), who protected me from my own brattiness as a teenager, who came between me and an angry neighbor, when I wrote my name all over her wet cement, who sadly cleaned up the beer cans that were scattered on our lawn by an angry ex-boyfriend, and never told me about it, and who guessed all of our secrets, and kept them. He's the dad by which all other dads should be measured. I hope you all feel the same about yours. Take a minute, now, if you are reading, and appreciate all of the sacrifice of your own father.

To the dad of my kids, my own dear James, I thank him for being my protector. I thank him for standing watchfully in the shadows, trying his best to delay a stressful church calling that was looming, because he knew I wasn't physically strong enough yet. I thank him for being the only friend I could turn to, when my feelings were hurt, and for knowing my secrets, and keeping them. I thank him for stepping between me and an angry, crazy landlady, and absorbing the anger himself. I thank him for protecting me from my own children, when they threaten to drink the last of the water that is in my emotional and literal cup, for hearing the buzzer that goes off in my head when I've had enough for the night, and taking over. Accepting protection doesn't mean that you couldn't protect yourself, if you had to, it just means you don't have to. Take a minute, now, if you are reading, and appreciate the protection of the fathers of your children.

I thank the protector of my soul. The One who came between me and justice. Take a minute now, if you are reading this, and appreciate the love of your God, and your Lord.

For our protectors, whether we think we need them or not, let us be grateful, and rejoice that they were created to do what they do.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Thanks


Thank you so much everybody for your responses, opinions, and advice. Summer, thank you for your thoughts about homeschooling and your support and tips for things to try. Thank you Kassie for your encouragement! Jen, your friendship has been a treasure. Thank you for reminding me to listen to my own inspiration. Julie! I had no idea you were here! Thank you so much for commenting and for reminding me that I can influence my children for good, regardless of what I decide. My goodness, I miss you too. Mandy. Thank you for being an inspiration of faith and endurance. And for expressing your belief in my ability to do what's best. Thank you also for putting me in touch with your friend, Jenn. What a source of wisdom she turned out to be. Emily. I love you. Asking me what the Lord said is not trite or condescending, it was wisdom, and love, and I felt that love! Thank you also, so much, for reminding me that there is no such thing as perfection in education (or anywhere else). I really really needed that. Kristiana, thank you so much for understanding the "I can't take this anymore- feeling." Thank you for sharing your struggles with me too, and reminding me that motherhood is just hard, no matter what. Your life and blog have been and continue to be an inspiration to me. Wendy, thanks for being able to compare the homeschool lifestyle with the public school one and telling me what you've found to be the pro's and con's for you and your kids. Your kids are great! Lindsay. I love you and love that I can always count on you to "get down to brass tacks" and tell me how it really is. I appreciate your honesty, and am grateful for it. I'm grateful for your offers of help. Thanks also for your example of keeping a wonderful, orderly home.
We've decided to put the kids in public school. Friday afternoon, I went into the office (James works from home a lot of the time) and asked James for his final opinion. I already knew in my heart what my decision was, though I didn't want to do it. He told me he had been feeling like they needed to go to school. I went immediately to the local elementary school to register them, but no one was at the office. I decided to wander around and get a feel for things. I ran into the two third grade teachers and started talking to them. I knew right away by the feeling of peace that I felt that my kids' education, and my values would be safe there. I left with a feeling of calm and peace and weightlessness that I haven't felt for a long time. My fellow homeschoolers: know that I tried everything that you said! We took breaks, we changed up the routine, we tried to do more of the fun stuff, just stick to the basics...nothing brought us peace or joy as a family. We've been floating along unhappily for far too long. I already feel a million times lighter. It was such a burden to feel undecided and unresolved. We told the kids, and I could see immediately a change, a relief is the best way to describe it. We picked out backpacks...they're thrilled. We know that this is the right decision for our family. We knew when we started to homeschool, that at the time that was also the right decision. I do think there is a reason that we felt the need to homeschool. It may have something to do with the boundary school where we used to live? We just moved in October, so the kids will be attending a different school from the old boundary public school in our old neighborhood. The reason may not be apparent, but I know there was one. Thanks again everyone for your advice and love!
Kristy