Thanks

Thank you so much everybody for your responses, opinions, and advice. Summer, thank you for your thoughts about homeschooling and your support and tips for things to try. Thank you Kassie for your encouragement! Jen, your friendship has been a treasure. Thank you for reminding me to listen to my own inspiration. Julie! I had no idea you were here! Thank you so much for commenting and for reminding me that I can influence my children for good, regardless of what I decide. My goodness, I miss you too. Mandy. Thank you for being an inspiration of faith and endurance. And for expressing your belief in my ability to do what's best. Thank you also for putting me in touch with your friend, Jenn. What a source of wisdom she turned out to be. Emily. I love you. Asking me what the Lord said is not trite or condescending, it was wisdom, and love, and I felt that love! Thank you also, so much, for reminding me that there is no such thing as perfection in education (or anywhere else). I really really needed that. Kristiana, thank you so much for understanding the "I can't take this anymore- feeling." Thank you for sharing your struggles with me too, and reminding me that motherhood is just hard, no matter what. Your life and blog have been and continue to be an inspiration to me. Wendy, thanks for being able to compare the homeschool lifestyle with the public school one and telling me what you've found to be the pro's and con's for you and your kids. Your kids are great! Lindsay. I love you and love that I can always count on you to "get down to brass tacks" and tell me how it really is. I appreciate your honesty, and am grateful for it. I'm grateful for your offers of help. Thanks also for your example of keeping a wonderful, orderly home.
We've decided to put the kids in public school. Friday afternoon, I went into the office (James works from home a lot of the time) and asked James for his final opinion. I already knew in my heart what my decision was, though I didn't want to do it. He told me he had been feeling like they needed to go to school. I went immediately to the local elementary school to register them, but no one was at the office. I decided to wander around and get a feel for things. I ran into the two third grade teachers and started talking to them. I knew right away by the feeling of peace that I felt that my kids' education, and my values would be safe there. I left with a feeling of calm and peace and weightlessness that I haven't felt for a long time. My fellow homeschoolers: know that I tried everything that you said! We took breaks, we changed up the routine, we tried to do more of the fun stuff, just stick to the basics...nothing brought us peace or joy as a family. We've been floating along unhappily for far too long. I already feel a million times lighter. It was such a burden to feel undecided and unresolved. We told the kids, and I could see immediately a change, a relief is the best way to describe it. We picked out backpacks...they're thrilled. We know that this is the right decision for our family. We knew when we started to homeschool, that at the time that was also the right decision. I do think there is a reason that we felt the need to homeschool. It may have something to do with the boundary school where we used to live? We just moved in October, so the kids will be attending a different school from the old boundary public school in our old neighborhood. The reason may not be apparent, but I know there was one. Thanks again everyone for your advice and love!
Kristy

...just one more thing...

I really love the internet. I've been dorking around online, and have found, to my relief, that I have not felt one emotion or frustration, that mothers everywhere in the world and throughout time have not already felt before. What a sisterhood!

Stormy Days

Whenever I stop to think about it, I'm always astonished at the absolute necessity of good mothers. When you consider the responsibility of nourishing, clothing, teaching, and raising separate human beings to be excellent people, aren't you amazed too? Simply caring for their most basic needs is a formidable task. Add character training, discipline, teaching, and all other life skills into the mix and you begin to realize that it really is the career of careers.

Somewhere in the course of history we've decided that caring for children and tending to their needs is menial labor. That it's unimportant. We are wrong. In our society, juvenile depression and juvenile crime rates have risen for years now. These symptoms tell us we are wrong. The depression one makes me really sad. Depressed kids and teenagers can do weird things. They can do tragic things too sometimes. Should we keep thinking that child care is trivial? No. These symptoms tell us that it is vital to give our utmost energy to the tasks of motherhood. Rank those kids very high on your list of urgency. If we treat the job like it's unimportant, we'll get unimportant results.

I know where your mind is headed (some of you), because mine goes there too. Go ahead. Say it. "What about me?" I know, huh? I want to write. I want to craft, and make floral garlands for my windows. I want to knit. I want to sew and be creative in a thousand other ways. I want to do what I want to do. But. I made the decision to be a mom. So, there you go. I read a great line in "The Well Trained Mind". I can't quote it word for word because all my books are packed, but it's coming from a mom whose kids are grown and she's homeschooled them. "I came to realize that my kids were the most creative project I'd ever been involved in."

I'm not trying to tell moms that they can't have their own hobbies! By all means, take an hour or two a day for yourself and listen to your iPod full blast, or pound out your frustrations on some kind of instrument, read up on your favorite book, finish up a craft project that's been neglected and rejoice that it's finally done. Maybe just do these things while your kids are in bed for the night, or napping. I have more hobbies than I can keep up with. I'm just reminding us all how vital it is that we give of our time, attention, and concentration to these kids that we've decided to bring into the world. I'm going to risk offending someone, but I have to say it. It's selfish to bring kids into the world and then pursue your own interests or talents without moderation. You can be anything in the world that you want to be! But if you decide to be a mother, make a true and wholehearted commitment to it.

The best person to raise a child is that child's mother. Yes, there are grandmas, and daycares, nannies, babysitters, and friends that can step in now and then. But the best person is the mother.

A Really Really Big Announcement...

Ssshhhh! Don't wake her up...'cause this girl is...



FINALLY SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!!!!

Let's all hope I didn't just jinx it by announcing it too soon...It's almost been a week though. I just couldn't contain my ecstasy.

Introducing My Kids: Volume 1

Keller, my first born son. My only son. Junior. Didders. Dids. Bud. Mr. K. He's high highs and low lows. I remember the first time I took him outside in a storm. He must have been around 5 or 6 months old. The wind was blowing the trees and flowers and there was lightning and thunder. And Keller looked around and just squealed with delight. He is an outdoor boy.
He loves wild weather. When he was about 4-ish months old, he ate my husband's math book. I know every mother says this about her kids but seriously, his laugh is magic. He is a people person. He NEEDS human interaction. He's exactly like my dad in that way. One day, we had been going all day to social events, he was playing with friends earlier in the day, then we went to a party, then we went to a park play day. After the play day at the park was over, we got in the car...and about two minutes later he asks me "Can you call Anna and have her come over and play when we get home?" I used to have the worst time trying to get him to go home from fun activities. One time we were at the park, and he threw a fit when it was time to go. He must have been around 4 or 5? Anyway, I told him I was going to leave without him, so I got in the car and drove away (around the corner watching him) and he totally didn't even care. He loves being in a big group of people. When the good times end, he is one sad boy. He's really in tune to what I'm feeling a lot of the time. When he was little he used to say "Just be happy at me mom." or "Will you make your eyes happy?" He's a good big brother because he's really patient with his little sisters! When Ella was between about 1 and 3 years old he called her "honey". Every time he talked to her he called her "honey".
He's beautiful. He has bad breath. His feelings get hurt pretty easily, and he can really pick up on when someone isn't being nice to him. He's not aggressive in every day life but is super aggressive in sports. He loves sports. He's never been really good at imaginative play, but give him a game to play or a ball to kick around and he's happy. He won't play with kids who are mean. He was an easy birth. I went to the hospital and they were going to send me home, but then my water broke and three hours later he was born. He has really pretty skin. When he was 1, he ate one of my pearl earrings that James gave me when we were married, then it came out in his diaper a couple of days later! Don't think I don't still wear those earrings! Keller has never had stitches or broken any bones. We've never been to the emergency room or had any health scares with him. (Knock on wood now, every one). He isn't afraid of doing anything, like jumping off diving boards, climbing trees, getting hurt, or anything like that. In fact he's an adrenaline junkie. One time I came out of the house and he had climbed a ladder up to our roof! And he was a lot littler than he is now when he did it!

He is afraid of scary movies though, and the dark.

Once he peed on my mother in law's carpet. This was waaay after he was potty trained. He has to say "favorite part of the day" every night before he goes to sleep. Titanic obsessed. Lagoon obsessed. Likes the Tram at Snowbird. Loves to build huts. Looooves to build dams in the rain gutters and make rivers and lakes in the dirt. I think he's going to build a real dam some day. He loves to work in the yard with his dad. Loves to work with his dad or grandpa doing anything. Desperately wants to be grown up and have sugar drinks before bedtime and stay up late. Desperately wants to be grown up and be productive and helpful like adults. He loves the scriptures. Learned to read because of the scriptures. Can pick out songs on the piano by ear. Naturally athletic. Fast runner! Loves to sleep in a tent. PEOPLE PERSON. A water bug. A joy to raise.

96 Years Ago Today...

At 2:20 this morning, Titanic sank 96 years ago. Ask me how I know this. I know this because about four years ago, I bought Keller a book on the Titanic for Christmas. It was on clearance for $3.99 and I thought "What the heck?". And so, an obsession was born. You want to know anything about the Titanic, Keller's your guy. And me too now.
That's one of the funnest things about having kids. They have a way of drawing you into their interests, and you find yourself learning things you would have never learned or thought of. Keller also loves hurricanes, tornadoes, lightening, the weather in general, and just about any kind of science. He loves to build and learn about dams. Dams? I would have never considered dams or how long it takes to design and construct them. OR how long it takes to fill them up and make a lake. Now I do.
Ella really loves horses and art. I'm horrible at art. But I've been forced to buy books on how to draw and paint so that I can teach her. I've learned about all about the different kinds of lines that are used when you draw. One day, she was running around the room showing me all the different kinds of lines she could see. I became drawn in too, looking for and finding different lines in everything that I saw.

Kids have an awesome talent for waking you up to the world. What have your kids woken you up to? What have you learned more about because of your kids?

A Day in the Life of a Super Hero!

Hi, James again... I just wanted to take a moment to tell my wife "THANK YOU!!!" Thank you for everything you do every day. If you ask Kristy what she accomplished today she would most likely say, "Not much." But let me just take a moment to brag about what she really did today... and tell her thanks along the way. I was at work today, so unfortunately I can't tell you ALL the wonderful things she accomplished today, I can only tell you what I saw or can see the results of. Kristy changed Mary's poopy diaper and didn't make me do it. Thank You Kristy. She made sure she took care of a ticket she got because I forgot to register her car. Thank you! Kristy did the laudry. Thank you. She folded the laundry. Thank you. She cleaned BOTH of the bathrooms and now they sparkle. Thank you, they look fantastic! She mopped the kitchen floor. Thank you. She did the dishes. She wiped down the counters. The kitchen is spotless! Thank you, Kristy! She made a blanket to give to a pregnant friend. Thanks! She organized the hand off of our children to the grandparents for a trip we are leaving on tomorrow. Thank you! She got the kids all packed and ready. Thank you. She prepared dinner, fed the kids dinner, AND cleaned up after them all by herself while I entertained a guest. Thank You! Now all this might sound like a big deal... but that's not even the most important part. She gave Mary that special one-on-one time she craves...several times. (That was so cute watching the two of you say prayers together!) Thank you. She didn't lose her temper with Mary when she woke up the baby, almost broke the baby's swing, almost broke Lindsay's bouncy chair, or drag out laundry Kristy had been folding. Thank you, Kristy. She made Ella feel special by letting ONLY her go with Kristy to the store to pick out some shoes. Thank you! Now, in contrast, while Kristy and Ella were at the store may I just tell you what I accomplished. Um, I held the baby. Watched some basketball on TV. Uh, I held the baby. I had Keller keep Mary busy. And boy was I tired and frazzled after all that! Whew, was I glad when Kristy made it home! She was gone a WHOLE HOUR! (Notice the sarcasm there.) As you can see I am married to a super hero of a woman. The things I've listed are only a small portion of what she did today... I was at work and so I missed lunch time, nap time, probably several kissed owies, comforting hugs, and many words of encouragement and affirmation. Thank you, Kristy. You are SO incredible with our children. You are such a wonderful mother to them. They adore you! There is a reason Mary has a melt down when you leave... you are great with the children. If I was two years old, I'd cry every time I had to be away from you too. Thank you for managing our home. You do a great job... much better than you give yourself credit for. I am so happy with everything you do and are. You are so appreciated, so loved, so adored, so admired and needed. Honestly Kristy, I don't know how you do it. You truly do amaze me. I love you so much. You really are a....


(I couldn't find a "Superwoman" logo... sorry.)

Hotel Mother's Day

I'm opening a hotel, and only moms who have had really bad days can go there. It will have a massive hot tub in the lobby where moms can congregate, soak their feet, and share stories of their bad days. Also in the lobby there will be a gigantic dessert bar with an emphasis on chocolate. There will be a large staff of massage therapists, child psychology experts, and shrinks. There will be a mandatory lights out at 11pm to ensure that each guest gets a good nights sleep. Courtesy wake up calls will be available for those who need to get back home to get kids off to school the next morning. I will charge $5/night. See you there.

Assets and Liabilities

As we were listening to the Little House books on CD as a family a few months ago, it struck me over and over again how much help the children were to the parents. Children were an asset. I kept thinking about how children are raised today, and how parents give, and give, and give to their children, and these kids sometimes turn out to be black holes of need and want, rarely giving anything back.
In a society like ours, where existence doesn't require all of our time and energy, it can be so easy to spoil a child. I look at the amount of toys and clothes my kids have, and it makes me shudder that they're surrounded by nice things and they don't take care of any of it! Then I listen to the story of Laura Ingalls, and how she cares for that rag doll of hers like it is a treasure. She had one Sunday dress and she was very careful never to get it dirty or tear it.
I'm not suggesting that we take all of our kid's toys away and give them just one set of blocks to play with. We're all products of our time, and it's okay if our kids get their clothes dirty, that's what washing machines are for! But there's a balance somewhere, I'm sure of it. Just as I'm sure that most Americans (and for sure their kids) are on the spoiled side of the line. I think we're producing a generation that "can never get enough of what they don't really need, now, my oh my..." So what do we do? Maybe we could try a couple of these:
1. Teach our kids good stewardship. We (meaning my family) need serious work in this area. Somehow teach them to make the things they've been blessed with last. Maybe if they mistreat a toy, then it gets taken away. Maybe if they leave their toys out to be stepped on and ruined, the toy needs to be put away for a time. I welcome any tips in this area.
2. Teach them not to be "consumers". It gets on my nerves that I'm called a "consumer" by the media, by corporate America, and anyone else trying to get their hands on my money. I devour my fair share of food, products, and resources like everyone else. But I'm more than a guzzler, an inhaler. I don't like to think of myself or my kids as brainless "consumers", prey to the marketing whiles of whatever is touted as "hot" this holiday season. I work hard to keep my kids from wanting the next big thing. One really good way to curb this tendency is to homeschool! Another really good one is to severely limit TV time with its commercials. Think twice before buying toys at random for your kids. Watch and limit the amount of "stuff" that comes into the house. Teach them (when they're old enough) to be savvy to common advertising tactics. Teach them to take the next big thing with a grain of salt. Let them know it really won't change their lives for the better. Be happy yourself, without that next big thing.
3. Wake them up to the fact of want and poverty. Don't just tell them that there are kids out there who don't have as many toys as they do (or any toys at all), show them. Take groceries to a family who has to make a choice between utilities and food. Take toys to a needy family personally if possible. Make a conscious choice to give to those less fortunate and involve your kids in the joy of it. This is a perfect time of year for it.
4. Teach kids to be obedient. Obedience has somehow become a nasty word in our generation of raising children. Like it somehow stifles their individuality or their free will. The truth is, obedience increases freedom. If your kids don't learn obedience from you, they'll have to learn it from a teacher, natural consequences (like heavy debt or bankruptcy, strained personal relationships, or difficulty with employers), or eventually a judicial system, none of whom love your child like you do.
We all hope to raise assets, not liabilities. Assets to us as parents, and assets to the world at large. There are a million different ways to parent. We're all trying to do the best we can. Maybe these tips will help you, maybe they won't make any sense at all. Take them or leave them. They're just my two cents!
Kristy