Gossip

Note: This post is taken from a journal of mine. It was written solely for my benefit. I thought it might help others, too. I just didn't want to sound like I was preaching a sermon, or like I was perfect.

Why is gossiping so harmful?
In a ward setting, it creates tension and destroys the feelings of love, acceptance, trust, and inclusion that should exist within a ward. It hurts people's feelings! It damages reputations of sometimes innocent people. It makes people feel uneasy: "What are they going to say about me when I walk away?"

How to stop yourself from gossiping:
Pray.
Beware of gossip's disguises: "I like Cindy a lot but..." Often it is done with a thin mask of concern: "Is something wrong with Lisa? She lets her kids run all over the neighborhood...I'm worried that she's depressed..." then the conversation takes off about poor Lisa. These women aren't "concerned". If they were, they would lovingly watch out for Lisa's kids, and drop them off at home if they wander too far or get into a dangerous situation.
Find other topics of conversation, read the newspaper, talk about your own life, various gospel topics, politics (!?), recent family vacations, etc.
Realize that when you gossip, you sound rude, critical, unfriendly, and unChristlike. Is this the vibe you really want to radiate to your neighbors and friends?
Along with gossiping, a close cousin, is backstabbing. Backstabbing (or backbiting) is unkind remarks made about another person who is not there. It's just as bad or worse than gossiping.
*BE HUMBLE*: What are your own weaknesses and failings? What excellent qualities does the person you are tempted to gossip about possess? The thing is, we are all different! The way I choose to raise my kids is different from the way my neighbor does. Why must we tear down another person to prove that the way we do things is the "right" way?
Look for the good in others instead of the bad. This can be hard at first if you're not used to it. In the beginning, you will probably have to make a conscious effort to shut out the negative thoughts that enter your head about people. A wonderful way to break this habit is to replace every bad thought with a thought about what makes that person good.

How to stop others from gossiping: We can't control what other people say or do...but we can make it harder for them to gossip (at least when we're around). Some things we can do:
Change the subject. It can be useful to keep a mental list of interesting topics of conversation that can used to gently steer the topic away from people.

Gossip is ugly. It's mean. It's a weakness that is an overwhelmingly female trait. Let's all try to do better. We are better. Let's be sisters.