I believe that kids have a definite social need. Sometimes as homeschoolers, we focus so heavily on the academic part of homeschooling that we leave little time or energy for cultivating our children's social skills. These social skills are just as important. Why is it important? A person who lacks social finesse as an adult will be hobbled in their business associations or career. They will probably have a hard time finding a wife/husband. They will lack the comfort and happiness that having a set of close friends brings. Many times I have met or observed someone who seems to have all the book smarts in the world but absolutely no social grace. It is almost painful to watch. As human beings we must come in contact with other people, and there are certain rules you have to know for getting along with others. As parents it is our responsibility to teach our children how to be successful social beings. The keys to opening the door to a satisfying social life are good manners.
In this day and age I think the word "manners" has become a synonym for stuffy, antiquated knowledge of which fork to use at a twelve course dinner. This is not what manners are. Manners are thinking about others and what would be the nicest for them. The absolute most important area in which to have manners is conversation. Talking with each other is the way we get to know each other. If you cannot speak to another person without offending or annoying or boring, you will not get very far in business, with friends, or even with family. For an intense study of manners in conversation, I would recommend reading a book on manners with a large section on conversation. Letitia Baldridges Guide to a Great Social Life is a good one, though out of print, I believe. For now just a couple of hints that I've learned the hard way:
First: Think before you speak! In some cases think three times before you speak. By doing this you will avoid embarrassing yourself or others by saying something stupid, unkind, insensitive, or too personal. Always think of the effect your words will have on the group or the person!
Second: A good conversationalist will be genuinely interested in the other person and ask questions about his/her interests. There will be give and take. Neither party should be doing all the talking.
Third: If you know that others in the room have different political or religious views, avoid these subjects. There are so many other topics of conversation that are interesting.
Start with these tips and teach your kids to do the same. You will be giving them a valuable asset.
We threw a last minute Halloween party for the kids on Halloween. We had about sixteen kids come! It is so good for kids to learn how to behave in social settings! Plan for socail activities with your kids. Budget your time for it. It's just as important as Math!
