On June 26th, James and I celebrated our ten year anniversary. I did a little "ten days of our anniversary" thing for James, (like the twelve days of Christmas). For one of the gifts, I wrote him a letter, and as I was writing to him, trying to think of all these lovely little romantic things to say, I realized that being married for ten years (if you're raising kids), is less like a romantic comedy, and more like a war drama.
Don't you all feel this way too? When you look at your husbands, don't you see the man who has carried you on his shoulders through the battlefields of motherhood? You see the man that at times, you've had to drag by his heels through the killing fields of fatherhood. I know that throughout the ten years, I've had so many moments of being overwhelmed, and feeling like I'm going to die for the sake of being a wife and a mother. I've been on the brink of a freak-out many times. As has he with respect to being a father and all that that includes! Ups and downs in jobs, feeling like we're going to kill our kids, and then wanting to die of guilt because we snapped and yelled at them...we've both done it. And we've both saved each others lives along the way. And we've always been united in a great cause, like all good soldiers are. The cause of raising a family and doing it well is the greatest war effort there is.
At the end of the day, we collapse on the couch (or wherever we happen to be standing after the kids are put to bed), and we look at each other, astounded at what we've had to endure for the sake of the cause. But so grateful that we have each other. No one told me when we joined the army, that I'd have to clean poop off of every solid surface in my two year old son's room the VERY FIRST DAY that my war buddy went off to fight other battles in the office just days after I gave birth to my second recruit. Nobody told James, when he was drafted, that he'd be kissing his wife goodbye, as a sexual being, for at least six months after each of the recruits were born, or that he would be waiting alone at the end of a hospital hallway facing the fragile mortality of his unborn daughter, and his hemorrhaging wife.
There has been joy, pride, comedy, and much happiness too, knowing that we're fighting the good fight, and raising wonderful people. Like all good war buddies, we rely on each other, trust each other with our lives, love each other, and serve each other.
Here's to another great ten years!
