As we were listening to the Little House books on CD as a family a few months ago, it struck me over and over again how much help the children were to the parents. Children were an asset. I kept thinking about how children are raised today, and how parents give, and give, and give to their children, and these kids sometimes turn out to be black holes of need and want, rarely giving anything back.
In a society like ours, where existence doesn't require all of our time and energy, it can be so easy to spoil a child. I look at the amount of toys and clothes my kids have, and it makes me shudder that they're surrounded by nice things and they don't take care of any of it! Then I listen to the story of Laura Ingalls, and how she cares for that rag doll of hers like it is a treasure. She had one Sunday dress and she was very careful never to get it dirty or tear it.
I'm not suggesting that we take all of our kid's toys away and give them just one set of blocks to play with. We're all products of our time, and it's okay if our kids get their clothes dirty, that's what washing machines are for! But there's a balance somewhere, I'm sure of it. Just as I'm sure that most Americans (and for sure their kids) are on the spoiled side of the line. I think we're producing a generation that "can never get enough of what they don't really need, now, my oh my..." So what do we do? Maybe we could try a couple of these:
1. Teach our kids good stewardship. We (meaning my family) need serious work in this area. Somehow teach them to make the things they've been blessed with last. Maybe if they mistreat a toy, then it gets taken away. Maybe if they leave their toys out to be stepped on and ruined, the toy needs to be put away for a time. I welcome any tips in this area.
2. Teach them not to be "consumers". It gets on my nerves that I'm called a "consumer" by the media, by corporate America, and anyone else trying to get their hands on my money. I devour my fair share of food, products, and resources like everyone else. But I'm more than a guzzler, an inhaler. I don't like to think of myself or my kids as brainless "consumers", prey to the marketing whiles of whatever is touted as "hot" this holiday season. I work hard to keep my kids from wanting the next big thing. One really good way to curb this tendency is to homeschool! Another really good one is to severely limit TV time with its commercials. Think twice before buying toys at random for your kids. Watch and limit the amount of "stuff" that comes into the house. Teach them (when they're old enough) to be savvy to common advertising tactics. Teach them to take the next big thing with a grain of salt. Let them know it really won't change their lives for the better. Be happy yourself, without that next big thing.
3. Wake them up to the fact of want and poverty. Don't just tell them that there are kids out there who don't have as many toys as they do (or any toys at all), show them. Take groceries to a family who has to make a choice between utilities and food. Take toys to a needy family personally if possible. Make a conscious choice to give to those less fortunate and involve your kids in the joy of it. This is a perfect time of year for it.
4. Teach kids to be obedient. Obedience has somehow become a nasty word in our generation of raising children. Like it somehow stifles their individuality or their free will. The truth is, obedience increases freedom. If your kids don't learn obedience from you, they'll have to learn it from a teacher, natural consequences (like heavy debt or bankruptcy, strained personal relationships, or difficulty with employers), or eventually a judicial system, none of whom love your child like you do.
We all hope to raise assets, not liabilities. Assets to us as parents, and assets to the world at large. There are a million different ways to parent. We're all trying to do the best we can. Maybe these tips will help you, maybe they won't make any sense at all. Take them or leave them. They're just my two cents!
Kristy
